Finding Strength in Relationships

Ecclesiastes 4:1-16

St. John’s United Church of Christ
Greeley, Colorado
July 19, 2026
Rev. Juvenal Cervantes

“When you are young, you believe there will be many people you will connect with. Later in life, you realize it only happens a few times.” (Julie Deply).

Solomon paints a sobering picture of life under the sun. Life under the sun often produces: oppressed people with no comfort, ambitious people with no contentment, wealthy people with no companions, successful leaders with no lasting applause.

Yet Ecclesiastes also prepares us to long for something greater: life under the lordship of Christ is marked by the enduring presence of God and the loving fellowship of His people.

Life lived "under the sun" often produces loneliness through oppression, envy, ambition, and unstable success. But God created us for community, compassion, and ultimately fellowship with Him.

A life centered only on earthly pursuits leaves us isolated, but God's design is that we find strength in relationships with Him and with one another.

Introduction

Loneliness has become one of the defining issues of our generation.

Despite social media, smartphones, and constant connection, millions confess they have never felt more alone. Studies consistently show increasing rates of loneliness among young adults, working professionals, and seniors alike.

Ecclesiastes 4 reminds us that loneliness is not simply an emotional problem—it is a spiritual consequence of life lived "under the sun."

Solomon observes four pictures of loneliness: the lonely victim, the lonely achiever, the lonely worker, and the lonely ruler.

Each reveals that life without God's wisdom leaves people isolated.

I. The Loneliness of Oppression (vv. 1–3)

"Again I saw all the oppressions that are done under the sun..."

Solomon begins with heartbreaking observations.

He notices: tears, injustice, abuse of power, and no comforter.

Twice he says, "They had no comforter."

Notice that the deepest tragedy is not only suffering. It is suffering alone. Oppression isolates people. Victims often lose: hope, dignity, community, and voice. Many today silently suffer: abuse, poverty, discrimination, grief, and depression. They often believe no one sees them.

But Scripture repeatedly tells us that God sees every tear.

Psalm 34:18, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

Exodus 3:7, “The Lord said, ‘I have indeed seen the misery of my people in Egypt. I have heard them crying out because of their slave drivers, and I am concerned about their suffering.’”

Matthew 5:4, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.”

Application

The church should become the ministry of comfort. Paul calls God "the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort." People should never suffer alone in Christ's family.

II. The Loneliness of Envy (vv. 4–6)

Solomon observes another tragedy.

"All toil and every skill come from one person's envy of another."

Much work is motivated by comparison.

People compete because someone else has: a bigger house, a better career, more followers, and greater recognition.

Envy promises fulfillment.

Instead, it creates isolation.

Comparison destroys friendship because everyone becomes competition.

Two extremes

Verse 5: The fool folds his hands. Laziness destroys life.

Verse 6: Better one handful with tranquility than two handfuls with endless striving.

God's wisdom rejects both laziness and endless ambition. Contentment is richer than competition.

Application

Ask yourself: Am I working because God called me? Or because I am trying to outdo someone else?

III. The Loneliness of Self-Sufficiency (vv. 7–12)

This is perhaps the most famous section.

Solomon describes a lonely businessman.

"There was a man all alone..."

Notice: He has, no son, no brother, and no family. Yet he never stops working.

He asks, "For whom am I toiling?" This man has wealth but no relationships. He possesses everything except someone to share it with. Success without companionship is empty. God did not create humanity for isolation.

Genesis says,

"It is not good for the man to be alone."

Even Jesus surrounded Himself with disciples.

IV. The Blessing of Companionship

Verses 9–12 provide four blessings.

Two are better because they work together.

Productivity increases. We accomplish more together. The church is a body. Every member contributes.

Two are better because they help each other. "If either falls..." Everyone falls. Spiritually. Emotionally. Physically.

Who will lift you? Christian friendship rescues people.

Two are better because they encourage each other. They keep warm together. Beyond physical warmth lies emotional encouragement.

Everyone needs someone who says, "I'll pray with you." "I'm here." "Don't give up."

Two are better because they protect each other.

"A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." Many interpret the third strand as God. Whether referring specifically to marriage or generally to relationships, the principle remains: Relationships centered on God become stronger.

Application

Every believer needs: worship, fellowship, accountability, and encouragement.

Christianity was never designed to be lived alone.

V. The Loneliness of Power (vv. 13–16)

Finally, Solomon tells a brief political story.

A poor but wise youth replaces an old foolish king. The crowds celebrate the newcomer. Eventually they reject him too.

Popularity is temporary. Leadership can be surprisingly lonely. Public approval changes quickly. Today's hero becomes tomorrow's forgotten name.

History repeats itself.

Application

Never build your identity on public applause.

People's opinions change.

God's approval remains.

The Gospel Answer to Loneliness

Ecclesiastes exposes the problem.

The Gospel provides the answer.

Jesus entered our loneliness.

On the cross He cried, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" He experienced abandonment so believers would never be abandoned.

Hebrews promises, “I will never leave you nor forsake you."

Jesus builds a family.

The church is not merely an organization. It is God's household. Brothers. Sisters. One body. One Spirit. One hope. Jesus reconciles us to God.

The deepest loneliness is separation from God because of sin.

Christ restores that relationship.

When we belong to Him, we are never truly alone.

Practical Applications

For those who feel lonely:

Bring your pain honestly to God in prayer.

Let trusted believers know your struggles rather than carrying them in silence.

Become involved in the life of the church through worship, Bible study, and service.

For the church:

Look for those who are isolated—the widow, the newcomer, the grieving, the overlooked.

Practice hospitality and intentional friendship.

Be quick to comfort and slow to judge.

For everyone:

Measure success by faithfulness, not by comparison.

Invest more in people than possessions.

Remember that earthly recognition fades, but relationships rooted in Christ endure.

Conclusion

The answer to our predicament is not simply to find more friends or work less. Our deepest need is to be reconciled to God through Christ and then to live in the community He has created. In Christ, we discover both the faithful Friend who never leaves us and the family of faith that bears one another's burdens.

As Jesus said to His disciples:

"I no longer call you servants... Instead, I have called you friends." (John 15:15)

Life "under the sun" can indeed be lonely. But life under the lordship of Christ is marked by the enduring presence of God and the loving fellowship of His people.